Simple

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This one was a toughie, but it finally hit me!

Sometimes I forget to turn off the part of my brain that thinks too much, it is in hindsight that I realize, had I kept things simple I would probably have enjoyed whatever a bit more.

I blame part of it on the MTV generation, the instant gratification we have come to expect out of every experience. It has taken me a while to regain my ability to keep things simple.

Sundays are the best example for me:

Sleep in, wake up, stay in PJ's until as late as I want.

Quick or complicated breakfast, depending on my hunger... eating it on the couch in front of the TV...

yeah... that's the life!

and the perfect way to end a weekend, only to wake up the next day and function at 100 m.p.h.

sunday scribblings

Mask

Flickr Photo Credit



To most her mask was invisible
but to others it was pretty transparent
the clues lay in whether or not she cared
if you knew her or not

In private she was exposed
an open book as they say
In public her mask protected
her vulnerability
her sensitivity
her fragile perspective
of the world around her

Her mask allowed her to deal
with the realities of life...
the daily abuses of people
who's masks of anger and pain
projected unto her {now protected}
sensitivities

When we met
it was a slow undress

we lay there naked
souls bared
bodies entwined
lips sealing a promise

no masks
acceptance
truth

unconditional love



sunday scribblings

Second chance

sunday scribblings

A second chance, a do-over.... hmmm, that one is hard.

I was having this thought the other night, and I was wondering had I done some things differently in life would I be at this imagined "there" yet. After thinking about it in some detail I came to the conclusion that... No, I would not want to do anything over. For each of my paths have led me to the person I am today. I'm pretty happy with who I am. Sure, there are things I want that I don't have, places I wish I had visited, that I haven't yet... and so on...

But, my life isn't over, nor is it near over... so, I still can do some of those things. The people that I've met have made an impact on my life in some way. Many good experiences, many bad... but none of those experiences have broken me or my spirit, and for that I am blessed.

What my journey has given me, is perspective. My life has taught me to think before I speak, doesn't always happen, but I have gotten better. I try to take my time in making decisions, sometimes I just have to roll the dice and trust that the universe is watching over me, and so far, she's got my trust.

There is one area in my life that I WONDER about though. I lived in the closet for many, many, many years. I often wonder what would be different in my life experience had I come out earlier in life. I wonder if I would have been a different type of person had I hung out in the lesbian community as a younger adult. For the most part I've concluded that I did what was best for me, and that was my path.

If my "wild" periods are/were any indication... I think it was a safer route for me to have been in the closet. But, you know, I often wonder what life as a slut would have been like...

***

Ocean

sunday scribblings


When I get so frazzled by life I can always ground myself by going to the ocean. It was no accident that I found myself living within walking distance of the Pacific Ocean. Once I settled by the water, life started falling into place. I was always a city girl, spent most of my life IN the city. Now as I get older, I find comfort in the smell and energy of the ocean.

When you look out into the ocean, you can't help but realize that we are all but a small piece of it all. At least for me, that gives me perspective and grounding.

***
on another note....

***

her blue eyes
everchanging to suit her mood
but, always
inviting, enticing, welcoming

on a good day I just stare
as if taking a dive into the vastness
of

all that she is...